The company I work for provides coffee and tea. The good stuff too, not Folgers and Lipton. It’s a great perk – I consume my body weight in tea during the workday. (Other than the mass consumption of tea, I’ve had no side effects from giving up coffee cold turkey).

A month ago, I noticed that the stock of Tazo Zen green tea was running low. I stopped worrying after being reassured the coffee service would restock our supplies in a few days.

Imagine my panic a few days later when I discover SEVEN BOXES of Stash green tea and ZERO boxes of Zen. WHA?!?? I don’t like Stash tea (the “support local businesses” side of me feels guilty – Stash is based in Portland, and even though Tazo is also based here, I shouldn't say bad things about Stash).

…Hang on, I’m sensing the disapproval from tea snobs for drinking -gasp!- bagged tea. However, if I drank loose tea in the quantities that I drink bagged tea, then I might as well snort coke because that is how much it would cost me. Right now my cost is nothing, so I’m ok with bagged. I use my +2 Shield of Snobbery against you…

As usual I’m off the storyline.

I was too busy that day to complain, so I grumbled to myself and made myself a cup of dirt tea, ahem..I mean Stash, and moved on with my day. Day after day I continued to drink it.

A few days ago, I open the cupboard and find not one, not two, but THREE boxes of Zen. It was as if the gods had seen my deprivation and personally reached down to correct this horrible aberration. I rip off the plastic like a kid on Christmas and make myself a cup.

It’s not good.

I am stunned. It’s too sweet and zingy with the mint and lemon herbal blend they use. I discover I prefer the more basic and earthy (because they use real dirt in their blend) Stash tea rather than the super cool complex taste of the Zen. The Zen is almost too overwhelming to drink. I’ve tried and tried to force myself to adjust back and it’s not working.

It seems the dirt tea has won. This time.