I, being a former coffee connoisseur (read, junkie) got lured in by the Starbucks billboards all over Portland advertising their new Chantico beverage. And I, being in marketing by trade, realize that Starbucks is the sh*t when it comes to effective marketing.

First, they name their product after a god. You can’t go wrong naming a product after a god.

Second, they call it drinking chocolate, because anything European sounds sophisticated and slightly exotic to the American lemmings..ahem, I mean masses. Great product positioning. Not a whole lot of direct competition in the drinking chocolate catagory. Score another +1 for Starbucks.

Third, their adverts look classy, and use words like museum and university. You are practically stupid if you’re not trying it. I can be smart and sophisticated by paying a measly $2.65 and holding this little tiny cup? C’mon…all the smart kids are doing it. This is the SAME reason why espresso hit it big in 1991. Score another +1 for Starbucks.

Starbucks is officially positioning it as a “dessert alternative”‚ something to have after dinner instead of say, cheesecake or mudd pie. -1 for Starbucks. I’m not saying they don’t know their market, I’m saying they DO know their market and they’re not admitting it. In Money Magazine (Jan 10 2005), Michelle Gass, Starbucks' senior vice president of category management is quoted as saying, "Imagine drinking a melted truffle and you're close to the Chantico chocolate experience." Starbucks says the nutritional value is "consistent with other premium desserts offered at fine dining restaurants."

Oh puleeze. This is really nothing more than personal indulgence. Not a lot of people I know are going to substitute a real dessert for one of these. But they will buy it as a mini-reward for their stressful day at work, or for actually showing up for class that day. Some will love it so much, they’ll need this like an addict needs crack. And indeed, at 390 calories and 21g of fat, it would take an act of intervention -- too many of these and my a** will never make a full-recovery.

Tune in tomorrow for my review of their new beverage.