Humans prove first-borns get screwed...

In another installment of "shocking precisely no one"...

First-born kids really do have it tougher, new research finds

Just another illustration of us crazy humans spending precious resources to prove the obvious to ourselves. We humans, as a species, are amazing. And sarcastic as hell.

Ask any first-born. All of us have a story or seventy of how we asked for stuff we didn't get (but our siblings did), got yelled at for sh*t we either didn't do or had no control over, were assigned a butt load of chores with an expectation of perfect execution and had arbitrary restrictions placed on our privileges despite doing our damnedest to earn those privileges and the respect and approval of our parents.

Now, we can get on with other research, like the study that proves that the babies of the family in fact, remain babies forever.