Monday morning recap

My grandmother is in the hospital. She is dying.

She was admitted to the hospital last Thursday morning. The doctors say she has suffered a series of small strokes over the past five years, and now the primary artery going up into her brain stem is weak, thickening and collapsing on itself. After being admitted, she couldn’t walk, but she could see, recognize people and communicate in a limited way. Now she has ceased being able to speak, swallow or hold up her head. She cannot eat. The rest of her circulatory system is collapsing, so she can’t receive hydration or nutrients intravenously. There is no medical treatment that can improve her condition and her body is slowly shutting down.

My family has been holding vigil at her bedside since Thursday afternoon. They’ve each had maybe seven total hours of fitful sleep in the past five days, so they’re more than a little punchy. My family is a rather independent lot and may not see each other often, but we love passionately and are fiercely loyal to each other. They’d stay awake every moment until the very end if they could, because my family is stubborn like that.

I’ve spent most of the time lending my support to my parents, who are trying to process everything amidst the all the activity. The hospital room has been constantly crowded while I’ve been there, but I was happy to have had some quiet one-on-one time with her last night. I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye, but I held her warm hand against my cheek, wished her a happy birthday (she turned 79 yesterday), told her I love her, and tried to give her a little comfort her in her waning moments of life. I drove home late last night cherishing that one last moment I was able to have with her.

The rest of my weekend was a bit of a blur. When I wasn’t at the hospital, I spent time with my in-laws who were down for the weekend to spend time with the grandkids before they leave for England this week, plus my fiancée and my daughter had performances on Saturday (my daughter said they didn’t play their best and finished a disappointing third place). I did manage to squeeze in a seven and a half mile run early Saturday morning at the Nature Park.

Fortunately, it’s an easy school week for the kids and a seemingly quiet work week for me, so I should be able to bounce back from that feeling of wanting to fall asleep standing. I’m cutting out nearly all of my personal activities – social obligations, running events, etc. in preparation for the next couple weeks. Posting will be a bit sparse, as I’m not paying attention to the things I normally pay attention to and most of my writing will not be in so public a forum.